The Tribent Norseman Xperience - march 2007

It is with humble pride and without further ado, that we present to our readers this first newsletter from the “Tribent Norseman Xperience”. The letter is a multi media newsletter and is best read accompanied with the latest record of Skambankt, Clutch or Arcade Fire. Accompany this letter with any “song” of Mariah Carey, and you will most likely experience system failure. Accompany this letter with Mariah Carey in person, and you’re a lucky man. Just don’t let her sing.

Who is Tribent N’Guru, the athlete and motor of the Tribent Norseman Xperience? Tribent N’Guru (A.k.a Bent Olav Olsen) is a Norwegian Triathlete completely in a league of his own. For years he has dominated his part of the field. In his mid thirties he started with cycling after some years of rest after terminating his soccer career at the age of 11. He soon found out that cycling was not a small enough sport to make a name for himself as an athlete. He did first consider petanque, then he choose triathlon.

Neither his build nor mentality favour courses with lots of climbs, in fact it does not favour triathlon or any other sport, but absolutely not a very steep triathlon as www.nxtri.com. Since almost any Norwegian know that Tribent N’Guru is not made for the steep stuff, what has led him on this path that may or may not end on the monstrous mountain Gaustadtoppen in august 2008?

Destiny and gambling!

A lottery had a “ticket for NXTRI” as its price and he won. Therefore this lottery in order to raise money for “Include Africa” and build shelter for kids in Malawi has changed the course of this bastion of the “Flat Triathlon Society”. The Tribent staff prays that it will be for the better.

Very few athletes of his generation, commitment and integrity would skulk away from such a challenge and obligation. Tribent N’Guru could never, even if he would. Several complicated fractures and dismemberment might do the trick, but not much else.

Enough small talk you say? We can assure you that the Tribent Norseman Xperience Newsletter before long will be filled with big, bold words worthy of any over rated Swedish athlete. This time we only want to set the record straight and assure the world that in 2008 Tribent N’Guru will do the world famous Norseman Xtreme Triathlon.

For the time being let’s just inform you that TribenN’Guru has exercised through the long and cold Norwegian winter. Massive weeks with 5-8 hours training and lots of eating has reduced his weight from 97 and down to 95,7 kg.

Let’s all pray: Lord lift us up where we belong. It might just possibly be the only way

I heard it through the.....

This site has its sources deep inside the steering committee of Norway’s largest and by far most important triathlon club. Oslofjord triatlon. There have earlier on been some frictions between this mastodon of a club and the small and week Norwegian Triathlon Association. It seems that these evil days are over and everything is peachy in tri-land.

This is the news, stop the press: Rumours has it that the second most important Norwegian triathlon competition, Seigmann triathlon will be arranged as a National Long Distance Championship for the next three years. How do you like that?

Remember folks. You heard it here first! On the Hush! Hush! On the QT!

How is your course in Norwegian going? Any progress?

Tribent Digest part 1 – In the Beginning there was Oslofjord triatlon

As the world learns to know the force of Norwegian triathlon by the immense impact the members from Oslofjord triatlon has on the international triathlon scene, there has been a steady growth of visitors on this blog from people that are not fluent in the Norwegian tongue.

And maybe some of you visitors have read about Norseman Xtreme Triathlon in Triathlete Magazine and then you perhaps sought information on some of the girls in the top five: Marit Svenning Berg and Adeleid Haugen, found out that they of course was members of Oslofjord triatlon? How you proceeded I don’t know, but you obviously ended up here in your quest for the truth and what you have done here so far I do not know.

It might be that good writing is universal and trancends language barriers, in the same way as good music do (for instance Clutch, AC/DC and the Datsuns). But I doubt that you have grasped it all.

So I know that the world hunger for news and information on Oslofjord triatlon and that you so far have collectively scratched your head in a heroic, but futile effort to understand what’s on this blog. On demand and as a Public Service Triathlon Channel (PSTC) for those not under Norwegian sovereignty, I might possibly spread the good news in English. While the blog is updated 3-5 days a week in Norwegian, and read by 10-15 people a day (including my self several times a day) the rest of the world will get their share every other week. Or in other words, when I feel like. But since you have waited so long without complaining, you’re used to the waiting, and for all I know you might even love the waiting.

There will off course be more of everything about everything in a little while, but I’ll conclude this Tribent Digest part 1 with the fact that Oslofjord triatlon with over 120 members is by far Norway’s largest triathlon club. There’s a couple of others in Norway. There are for instance Royal Sport, but as the name tells you they’re for the Royal family and their kin, with the tragic result that the club has little potential for growth, even though the king himself reigned in the Norwegian Triathlon Federation for many years.

Over blown egos is a part of triathlon so the reason for this Tribent Digest part 1, might just as well be shameless self grandization or to have another reason to publish a picture of one of my daughters in our team jersey, or my beloved Guru TriLite. But you’re smart, so you have figured out that already.

So stay tuned. Or even better: Get your ass off the couch and down to nearest community centre for their course in “basic Norwegian”. And we can skip this "Tribent Digest" ...thing.